TWD- Chapter Four: Hocus Pocus

Myth: My hocus pocus totally works!

Allah (swt) says in the Quran,

“Indeed Allâh conferred a great favour on the believers when He sent among them a Messenger (Muhammad SAW) from among themselves, reciting unto them His Verses (the Qur’ân), and purifying them (from sins by their following him), and instructing them (in) the Book (the Qur’ân) and Al-Hikmah [the wisdom and the Sunnah of the Prophet SAW], while before that they had been in manifest error.” (03:164)

Double, double, toil and trouble;

Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

That’s the three witches chanting in Shakespeare’s “Macbeth”. No wait. In the Quaid’s Karachi.

Naana Bengali, Naani Bengali and Amil Junaid Bengali. The whole family or coven as you like, with their graffiti ads painted all over the city walls, claiming they get things done from kalam-e-ilahi.

And then there is us, doing our own hocus pocus. There’s a stark contrast between how the Prophet (pbuh) lived on the Quran and imparted the wisdom, and how we share our daily doses of refreshing insight about the Book.

I saw a small booklet tucked under my car wipers some time back. It was called “Daily Remedies” if I remember well and flipping through it, this is what I saw on the first page:

Musallamtul la shiyata feeha

“Recite this seven times and you will be rid of pimples and other facial ailments.”

Coincidentally, I was enrolled in a tafsir study those days and recognized this phrase from Surah Al-Baqarah. The translation of this piece is “whole and withoutmark”. Of course, they did not mention it. The funny part is, this verse was an answer to the questions the Jews asked about the cow they had been ordered to slaughter– and so Allah (swt) told them it should be whole and without any defects.

Makes you wonder how many damsels might have tried this out, not knowing the affair was of some cow long ago and has little to do with cutaneous concerns of distressed females…

A couple of months back, I came across another common one– we were busy cramming details half an hour before the final exam. A student chimes in: “I recite this and blow it over my paper every time and it works”-

Fa aghshaynahum fa hum la yubsiroon

“Good grades guaranteed.”

For those of you lost, this snippet is from a verse in Surah Yasin (Verse 9). Recited by Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) as he escaped a life-threatening situation, casting a handful of dust at his assassins; it has been long believed that this verse renders an examiner blind to all your mistakes, should you blow it over your paper. Neat.

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Let us come to an agreement here. Quran is not a book of DIY remedies, charms, hexes, jinxes or shortcuts to all and sundry. It is a cure, yes– but only when taken in spirit and action.

It is also after all, the Word of Allah. And much as we hate ourselves being misquoted, it is only fair that we treat this Divine Message with utmost caution too. It was revealed to be our companion in this life and the next; the only friend who will vouch for you when all others would’ve deserted you.

Abdullah ibn `Amr reported that the Messenger of Allah said: “The fast and the Qur’an are two intercessors for the servant of Allah on the Day of Resurrection. The fast will say: ‘O Lord, I prevented him from his food and desires during the day. Let me intercede for him.’ The Qur’an will say: ‘I prevented him from sleeping at night. Let me intercede for him.’ And their intercession will be accepted.” [Ahmad]

You know what’s in it for you now.

Immortality in the Heavens.

And shortcuts just don’t cut it.