So this is a request post that has been long overdue, a friend insisted I write on this topic. I’m not going to make this long and I’m going to be really blunt. She shared a couple of disturbing stories about seemingly religious Muslim men proposing to pious Muslim women posing in their umrah outfits. No really. And naive as some females are, they fell for the deuce. Needless to say, those marriages never worked out. And if you find any of this hilarious, lose the grin. It was pretty disastrous for the damsels in distress. (And Lord keep us all from falling for the wrong sorts. The hypocrites.) I will not mention the gruesome details here.
It is true though. What decent person wouldn’t want a better half for themselves? Better as in, better in faith. But please, set a realistic criterion for gauging that faith instead of taking the beard at face value. And before I start sounding like some marriage counsellor, I’ll stop here. An entire book can be written on the do’s and don’t s and to converge all of it in a post is wholly impossible.
Proposals aside, there are morons trolling the social networks smirking behind the screens as you prattle on with your life story- all in the name of “good company”. Believe me, had this guy any morals, he won’t be buddies with you to begin with. Same is true the other way round. You want to make yourself a better person, go join a quran class. It doesn’t happen on FB chat with your HE/SHE in particular. We all kinda know where that ends up. I know of a person who ended up in ICU. Out of clinical depression that is, when her Mufti Fifty-cent lost interest.
And then there are “da’ees” (male or female, normal people like you and me) who think it is okay to start a religious chat with the opposite gender to ah- change them for the better. Seriously? If you must talk, how about you drop the religious pretext altogether and well- talk? Like normal talk. Veiling your interest in him/her behind a religious facade is pretty sickening. And even if your intentions are good, save them for something else. Trust me on this one.
There’s no hard rule to setting your guard up. You’re either soft in the head or you aren’t. All we really need to know is where to draw the line, when to block and send the person hurling in cyberspace. And that’s a no-brainier. God gave us intuition for a reason.
PS: I’m not saying we stop replying to comment threads by people if you have a public profile, that is. Just know when to NOT reply, when to not “Like” and when to stop yourself from “retweeting”.