The little voice of unreason

>>2:13am: Here is to all moments of clarity, and this- believe me, isn’t one of mine.

After a mug of coffee, much thinking on the lofty points of life induced by the eternal philosophical nature of caffeine, I came to a simple conclusion. That I’ll strip my blog off cyberspace. No more mindless ramblings by a faceless person you know very little of. And no more of these saintly posts that even make me squirm when I read them after a long time and find myself not-very-saint-like. After all, “I have the right to remain silent. Anything I say can be held against me in the court of Law.”

 أَتَأۡمُرُونَ ٱلنَّاسَ بِٱلۡبِرِّ وَتَنسَوۡنَ أَنفُسَكُمۡ وَأَنتُمۡ تَتۡلُونَ ٱلۡكِتَـٰبَ‌ۚ أَفَلَا تَعۡقِلُونَ (٤٤ 

Do you enjoin right conduct on the people and forget (to practise it) yourselves and yet you study the Scripture? Will you not understand? (02:44)

The verse is enough to drive the message home. And then this scene from A Knight’s Tale materializes when William, Chaucer and the rest were bending over Adhemar- my favorite part from the whole film- and they said after the final showdown:

“You have been weighed.

You have been measured.

And you have been found wanting.

Welcome to the new world. God save you, if it is the right thing that He should do so.”

Funny. Even movies have that kind of effect on me. Sometimes. Is there a name for the phobia of dropping dead in the middle of watching a movie?

Just getting my point across that I’ve been feeling hypocritical as of late. And this came with such passion that I seriously considered laying rest my wired existence, and leave nothing behind that could frame me. Facebook is enough to show anyone a glimpse of the Book of Deeds they are so insanely authoring. And this blog- it will either be a saving grace or will make it to the hall of shame. And so I wanted to slay all chances, do nothing and drag through life. Very dramatic me. And a very convenient way out but not a solution. Nonetheless, diving into nothingness is hugely appealing, if that even remotely makes sense.

*Duff beats and eye-rolls*

Of course, I chickened out when senses took over. I’m bound to whatever I say. The answer had been staring at me right in the face.

Lord protect us all from hypocrisy. It irks me whenever I make a new post and it’s like playing joust with your own self…


14 thoughts on “The little voice of unreason

  1. Keep on illuminating. The fact you feel like a hypocrite is enough that you are self-critical and reflectful (not really a word is it?) on your actions. Use what you write to change yourself as you change those around you.

    A Fellow “Hypocrite”

  2. Excellent post! I do hope to see many more posts from you. It’s ok if when we find ourselves wanting, because at least we know we have seen the truth of ourselves. Most people refuse to face themselves as honestly as you face yourself. It would do many good to see that kind of honesty.

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