Perfection is the goal that keeps us from all other goals. It is the obstacle I face whenever I am motivated to do something productive, especially when it comes to Islam. I always hope and dream to be a better Muslim, planning the next step to increase my iman, to become the ‘perfect Muslimah.’
At that exact moment, the moment of clarity, the moment I realize I want to, no, NEED to become closer to Allah subhannu wa’taala, NEED to obey His commands, NEED to get into Jannah, I am slapped in the face by reality: there is no possible way I am going to be a perfect Muslim. I am so utterly imperfect that perfection shouldn’t even be in my vocabulary. How can I possibly just change overnight? How can I learn all the rules and etiquettes of Islam and apply them to my life, all day, every day? How can I erase my tainted past and move into a flawless future? The answer is simple.
I can’t be perfect, not a perfect Muslim, not a perfect anything and that is what gets in my way. I feel defeated and hopeless. All my hopes and dreams of being a better Muslim are thrown out the window and I watch them slowly fall towards the earth and shatter to pieces. It’s a never-ending cycle, because by the time I am able to put the pieces back together, I once again realize my impossible goal and throw everything back out the window.
This time will be different, insha’Allah, because I realized that my goal of perfection was in fact my obstacle. Instead of aiming to be the perfect Muslim, I am simply going to try and be a better Muslim today than I was yesterday, even if it means doing one more thing than the day before, even if it means one extra smile. I will tweak myself, one imperfection at a time.
Alhamdulillah, I recently took a step I wanted to take for a long time: writing about Islam. I was afraid of what people would think, wonder why I, of all people, was writing about religion, the girl who isn’t good enough to write about Islam. I realized I was getting in the way of my own realistic goal. I realized I shouldn’t worry about what others thought and instead make myself better in hope of pleasing my Lord and in hopes of becoming a better Muslim.
Don’t be afraid that you’re not good enough. Don’t be afraid of what other’s will think. Just take one step at a time to become a better Muslim and, insha’Allah, Allah ta’ala will guide you.