Life’s a little war everyday. Another cup of coffee. And much tapping of feet on the floor to the tunes playing in my head. Over and over again. And drumming in the air. And I wonder if I’ll ever be able to shake it off me. I can literally see my mess here. Scratch that. I can see where I’ve gone wrong in places. And I’ve known all along. But it’s a completely different tune altogether when the world starts falling like rain. Like soft snow. Like little shards of broken glass balled up in white velvet. And you don’t know what hit you. You can either dance in the abyss (which I do) oblivious to the glass pieces beginning to make their cuts. Or you can pick up the pieces and get a move on. I do that too, only after the pieces have become a pain in the- well, all over.
Escapist or a realist. Either way, it’s depressing. To feel things you cannot name. To write of thoughts you should not think. To go waltzing in the twilight zone. To colour the grey areas black or white, a makeshift heaven in your mind and watching it collapse. This is Conscience behind the scenes. A voice you drown when it begins to choke you. No, it is a song unsung, and a part of it dies everyday inside. But this is what makes you- YOU.
And newsflash- you’re doomed. In every meaning of the word.
وَٱلۡعَصۡرِ (١) إِنَّ ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ لَفِى خُسۡرٍ (٢) إِلَّا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ وَعَمِلُواْ ٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتِ وَتَوَاصَوۡاْ بِٱلۡحَقِّ وَتَوَاصَوۡاْ بِٱلصَّبۡرِ
By the declining day, Lo! man is a state of loss, Save those who believe and do good works, and exhort one another to truth and exhort one another to endurance. (103:1-3)
An oath taken by the Time. By the seconds slipping as we speak, that your life is no one-man show nor is there any way out. Unless, we all survive. Together. And make it out of this lair of seductions set forth. Not one lone “victor”. But our community as a whole.
Starting with yourself.
And you are, but a puppet to your conscience or lack thereof. So keep that voice coming strong, even if it depresses you. Breathe in it. And rise. And help others rise with you.
Life’s a little war everyday. “May the odds be ever in your favour.”
Correction. May the
odds scales be ever in your our favour.
So this is a request post that has been long overdue, a friend insisted I write on this topic. I’m not going to make this long and I’m going to be really blunt. She shared a couple of disturbing stories about seemingly religious Muslim men proposing to pious Muslim women posing in their umrah outfits. No really. And naive as some females are, they fell for the deuce. Needless to say, those marriages never worked out. And if you find any of this hilarious, lose the grin. It was pretty disastrous for the damsels in distress. (And Lord keep us all from falling for the wrong sorts. The hypocrites.) I will not mention the gruesome details here.
It is true though. What decent person wouldn’t want a better half for themselves? Better as in, better in faith. But please, set a realistic criterion for gauging that faith instead of taking the beard at face value. And before I start sounding like some marriage counsellor, I’ll stop here. An entire book can be written on the do’s and don’t s and to converge all of it in a post is wholly impossible.
Proposals aside, there are morons trolling the social networks smirking behind the screens as you prattle on with your life story- all in the name of “good company”. Believe me, had this guy any morals, he won’t be buddies with you to begin with. Same is true the other way round. You want to make yourself a better person, go join a quran class. It doesn’t happen on FB chat with your HE/SHE in particular. We all kinda know where that ends up. I know of a person who ended up in ICU. Out of clinical depression that is, when her Mufti Fifty-cent lost interest.
And then there are “da’ees” (male or female, normal people like you and me) who think it is okay to start a religious chat with the opposite gender to ah- change them for the better. Seriously? If you must talk, how about you drop the religious pretext altogether and well- talk? Like normal talk. Veiling your interest in him/her behind a religious facade is pretty sickening. And even if your intentions are good, save them for something else. Trust me on this one.
There’s no hard rule to setting your guard up. You’re either soft in the head or you aren’t. All we really need to know is where to draw the line, when to block and send the person hurling in cyberspace. And that’s a no-brainier. God gave us intuition for a reason.
PS: I’m not saying we stop replying to comment threads by people if you have a public profile, that is. Just know when to NOT reply, when to not “Like” and when to stop yourself from “retweeting”.
Play the way you feel it
But listen to the sound
Of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat, drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost
Nothing is more deadly than a rhythm put together, sung to a beautiful note and strung on keys that make you want to sway along with the beats.
If you can tune out the bass drumming your ears, and that heavenly thump thump, and the memories they evoke, then you probably have a story to tell.
Don’t fall into relapses (note to self).
Give it a happy ending.
يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ هَلۡ أَدُلُّكُمۡ عَلَىٰ تِجَـٰرَةٍ۬ تُنجِيكُم مِّنۡ عَذَابٍ أَلِيمٍ۬ (١٠) تُؤۡمِنُونَ بِٱللَّهِ وَرَسُولِهِۦ وَتُجَـٰهِدُونَ فِى سَبِيلِ ٱللَّهِ بِأَمۡوَٲلِكُمۡ وَأَنفُسِكُمۡۚ ذَٲلِكُمۡ خَيۡرٌ۬ لَّكُمۡ إِن كُنتُمۡ تَعۡلَمُونَ (١١)
O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a trade that will save you from a painful torment? That you believe in Allâh and His Messenger, and that you strive hard in the Cause of Allâh with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (61:10-11)
“There is a light at each end of this tunnel,
you shout ’cause you’re just as far in as you’ll ever be out,
And the mistakes you made you’ll just make them again,
If only you’d try turning around…”
Drunken stupor. You are, at this very moment, trying to escape from your own mess or are busy weaving one for yourself.
You dance with the Devil, tempt the Heavens, and when fate comes calling, you look for solace. Back in your sins. The oddity of it all.
It’s sweet seduction. And you gravitate.
And when the mood is high, winning feels awesome. What you don’t know is- that it’s all in your head.
And when the thrill is over- and it takes but a second to die- what did you gain?
A hangover. A rude awakening.
بَلۡ تُؤۡثِرُونَ ٱلۡحَيَوٰةَ ٱلدُّنۡيَا (١٦) وَٱلۡأَخِرَةُ خَيۡرٌ۬ وَأَبۡقَىٰٓ
Nay, you prefer the life of this world, Although the Hereafter is better and more lasting.” (87:16-17)